I have been mulling over the events of this past weekend. After having had the privilege of teaching The Creative POWER of Love last weekend I am so blessed with how things went, not just in the lives of those who heard it, but also in my own heart, too. Before the class last week I was personally challenged in ways I have never been so challenged. I had some rather vicious personal attacks on my character, and I found myself dealing with some new and long submerged anger over past wrongs. Our Father helped me deal with it in a rather unique way.

It was as I was reading A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court to my son. As I was reading God revealed to me—through some of the people in the story—what was happening to me with the recent attacks.

The beautiful, but wicked Queen, Morgan Le Fay represented one person. This fictional woman was so close to a real person in my life it startled me. She presented herself as any good queen would, with all her royal splendor, charm, and dignity—but underneath it all she was a horribly cruel person. In realizing the similarities between this character and the real one I was able to put the real relationship in perspective—that I had been right all along in my perception of evil I had suffered, and consequently I was able to forgive. I was also able to start letting go of the anger. And thank God for that.

The other characters were the Royalty. They were bumbling and arrogant fools who demanded the unquestioned loyalty of the “freemen” they lorded over. The titles they held were the only thing that supposedly gave them this right—and they abused it, of course. This was also a representation of another personal attack from one who elevated his personal opinion to the level of God’s Word. He supposed I should accept what he said simply because of his title, or, at least what he perceived his title to be. No thanks.  But through this “revelation” I was able to let go of still more anger. God is unlimited in His ability to work with our own understanding and us. He loves us and will help us through any and all trials.

After the class I heard some really great feedback, like about our need for boundaries. There were also many joyful tears shed. The pressure to be better is taken off. It is not about me being better; it is about me receiving better what God is.

^NIV 1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.

That verse shows the beauty of cause and effect. We love because. I don’t love when I have had the right classes, or sat through the right program, or have somehow improved myself enough. Jesus Christ said it very well.

John 15:9  As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.

How well did the Lord Jesus receive God’s love? He received it perfectly. That is how I want to receive it—1000%.

Although at the time it was a huge inconvenience, I am glad that our electricity went off last week. For over 24 hours I got to see that I in no way generate electricity. I am a receiver. As a receiver I can transmit this power, but I cannot generate it on my own. So we love because He first loved us came home to me in a very personal way.

How many times have I tried to forgive, tried to renew my mind, tried to do the right thing, and for a time succeeded—but then in a moment of weakness my edifice crashed to the ground in an awesome display of human failure.

John 17:21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.